Well, this break I have had quite the pile of books to read. I finished Fire by Kristen Cashore. The companion book to Graceling that takes place some 30-40 years before was overall better. It's tough to put my finger on it but weighing the main characters against one another, Fire is a fucking whiny baby and Katsa is totally bad ass. But overall Fire has, I think, a better plot line and is more intelligent. There was some drama that really pissed me off and the pacing of both books is infrequent and tiring. Overall it was pretty good.
Then I read The Hunger Games. In like 30-ish hours. I started it last night around 8:00 and finished it today around 12:30. It was a simple read but at the same time an amazingly complex text. I kinda hate that there is a book review from Stephanie Meyer on the back but she's also praised Harry Potter...
Anyways, Katniss is a type of root. Likened to a potato... no, it's the main character. A girl, who, like me, is somehow incapable of love. I mean, she obviously has love for others and shows it; but as the receiver of such affection, she freaks out.
So do I.
But this isn't a blog post about me; it's actually about what the book made me think about love.
It's complicated. As if that's not said enough *rolls eyes* but there was something brought up in the book that I have rarely encountered before.
The fact that the term 'love is a complex thing' is a outrageous understatement. I mean like saying the water temple in just about any Zelda game is a little confusing. Fuck that. It's hard as shit.
There is this thing called lateral thinking. For me, it's in the stupid online puzzle games I play. You have to think about several reactions to one action on many different levels at once. (Try MOTAS-took me hours).
The dictionary definition of it is:
"(Psychology) a way of solving problems by rejecting traditional methods and employing unorthodox and apparently illogical means."
So everything about lateral thinking tells us that the normal reasoning hopelessly entwined in our minds from lifetimes of societal pressures is nothing. Throw that out the window.
So since love is already complicated and so hard to define, would it be safe to say that in order to truly know the meaning of love, in all it's meant to be, from what we expect and could never dream of, that one must be capable of lateral feeling?
Or in other words, instead of finding a route that is sensible and concise our 'hearts' are only capable of these convoluted tricky maze-like paths?
Chew on that with your dinner.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Another Totally Reasonable 'Unreasonable' Fear
Bees.
God fucking damn it I hate them oh so much. Seriously, ask any of my friends. I'll flip my shit if one comes near me.
However, many may ask why, since bees are a common fear after all people are allergic... But I'm not, at least I don't know if I am because I have never been stung. I quite pride myself in this little known fact about me, but yes, I have gone 18 years of my life without ever knowing the horrible deathly pain of a fat pulsating poison spitting bee stinger in my flesh. Mommy confirms the years I don't remember.
So why am I afraid? Well, I have the (sometimes) blessing of having four older siblings to fuck up for me to see, and learn from. This includes bees.
Story #1: Jennifer + Hornet-Pants
So one summer in the early 2000s my sister was getting ready to go out with her boyfriend at the time. I'm innocently sitting upstairs with my eyes glued to the colorful picture box (the TV) when I hear her pained screams fill our not so large house.
Turns out when she went to change her pants, there was a hornet in her jeans and it got stuck right around her knee. Then proceeded to sting her about ten times. TEN MOTHER FUCKING TIMES!!
Her cries of horror and the swollen red knee was enough to haunt my dreams for months.
Story #2: Matthew mows a nest
Yeah, this story is pretty much exactly how it sounds. My brother was outside mowing the lawn when he ran over an underground bees nest. Yeah, they happen underground, look it up. So anyways he's innocently mowing what is usually the like of a rainforest and then I hear his shouts for me to come open to the door for him. When I reach the screen door he's sprinting around the yard like a mad man and I hear the sound of the horrible things and can see a cloud following him. I open the door (bravely) and he sprints inside. A few follow him so I bolt upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom armed with a can of Raid.
Story # 3: The infestation of our house by wasps
Yeah, so we used to live in this two-story yellow house. It was fairly decent and I'm surprised my mom managed to feed five kids and keep it in mostly good repair. However, things would be missed, like a small hole in the wall under our big red deck.
One day I start noticing that a whole lot of wasps have started to make a general routine out of giving me a heart attack. So I tell mom, who admits she too has noticed the increased number of hell-demons.
Now, my mother, crafty as she is, enlists the help of our family-friend Paul and they go on an epic adventure to discover the fountain of wasps... err where they are getting in.
The discovery was that of an uncovered light socket, directly on the other side of the wall from a hole in which a wasp nest has been built. Oh, and as they are looking in the socket, a wasp fucking crawls out of it. There were wasps. IN MY HOUSE!
NOT
COOL
Story # 4: Did I outgrow this fear? NO
There was one summer where I actually gained control of my fear. I was sitting on the patio with my mother having a chit-chat when a wasp. No, not a bee, but a big scary wasp landed on my foot. I sat quietly and observed it. Sure, I stared wide-eyed and was completely motionless until it left.
But it happened.
This was a short-lived victory, for this encounter seemed to have kicked my fear back into high drive. One day I was innocently making myself some noodles when I look to the handle of the pan to see a big fatty hornet sitting on it. War ensues. It involved a lot of scrubbing bubbles, several mad dashes up tot he bathroom, the fly-swatter (with which I am useless) and a phone call to Joslyn with me in tears.
Then there was the time I was running errands last summer only to discover a bee had flow into my car. To which my response was to immediately drive to work (I was close by) and force my friend Mike to stop cooking and come murder the little bastard for hitch hiking in my back window.
So those are only four of TONS of horrifying bee stories I have.
I also get this question a lot, why are you afraid of bees when you like spiders so much?
Well, one, spiders are cool and really interesting. And the ones you really have to worry about can only occupy the space on the walls and floor (most are not good at ceiling clinging). Bees fill up all the space between. It's volume vs. area dude. Simple logic.
But, being a nature enthusiast I tend to watch discovery channel. This has not helped my sanity or stress levels at all. I found out about Africanized Honey Bees. Yeah, you know the ones, they are like violent overprotective hormonal teenagers with pointy things on their asses and aren't afraid to use them. There happens to be billions of them because of some shit-head scientist that decided to mess with nature and made some fucking pissed off bees.
That swarmed on up to the US.
Great. Oh but the scariest kind of flying horror machine is the Japanese Giant Hornet.
God fucking damn it I hate them oh so much. Seriously, ask any of my friends. I'll flip my shit if one comes near me.
However, many may ask why, since bees are a common fear after all people are allergic... But I'm not, at least I don't know if I am because I have never been stung. I quite pride myself in this little known fact about me, but yes, I have gone 18 years of my life without ever knowing the horrible deathly pain of a fat pulsating poison spitting bee stinger in my flesh. Mommy confirms the years I don't remember.
So why am I afraid? Well, I have the (sometimes) blessing of having four older siblings to fuck up for me to see, and learn from. This includes bees.
Story #1: Jennifer + Hornet-Pants
So one summer in the early 2000s my sister was getting ready to go out with her boyfriend at the time. I'm innocently sitting upstairs with my eyes glued to the colorful picture box (the TV) when I hear her pained screams fill our not so large house.
Turns out when she went to change her pants, there was a hornet in her jeans and it got stuck right around her knee. Then proceeded to sting her about ten times. TEN MOTHER FUCKING TIMES!!
Her cries of horror and the swollen red knee was enough to haunt my dreams for months.
Story #2: Matthew mows a nest
Yeah, this story is pretty much exactly how it sounds. My brother was outside mowing the lawn when he ran over an underground bees nest. Yeah, they happen underground, look it up. So anyways he's innocently mowing what is usually the like of a rainforest and then I hear his shouts for me to come open to the door for him. When I reach the screen door he's sprinting around the yard like a mad man and I hear the sound of the horrible things and can see a cloud following him. I open the door (bravely) and he sprints inside. A few follow him so I bolt upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom armed with a can of Raid.
Story # 3: The infestation of our house by wasps
Yeah, so we used to live in this two-story yellow house. It was fairly decent and I'm surprised my mom managed to feed five kids and keep it in mostly good repair. However, things would be missed, like a small hole in the wall under our big red deck.
One day I start noticing that a whole lot of wasps have started to make a general routine out of giving me a heart attack. So I tell mom, who admits she too has noticed the increased number of hell-demons.
Now, my mother, crafty as she is, enlists the help of our family-friend Paul and they go on an epic adventure to discover the fountain of wasps... err where they are getting in.
The discovery was that of an uncovered light socket, directly on the other side of the wall from a hole in which a wasp nest has been built. Oh, and as they are looking in the socket, a wasp fucking crawls out of it. There were wasps. IN MY HOUSE!
NOT
COOL
Story # 4: Did I outgrow this fear? NO
There was one summer where I actually gained control of my fear. I was sitting on the patio with my mother having a chit-chat when a wasp. No, not a bee, but a big scary wasp landed on my foot. I sat quietly and observed it. Sure, I stared wide-eyed and was completely motionless until it left.
But it happened.
This was a short-lived victory, for this encounter seemed to have kicked my fear back into high drive. One day I was innocently making myself some noodles when I look to the handle of the pan to see a big fatty hornet sitting on it. War ensues. It involved a lot of scrubbing bubbles, several mad dashes up tot he bathroom, the fly-swatter (with which I am useless) and a phone call to Joslyn with me in tears.
Then there was the time I was running errands last summer only to discover a bee had flow into my car. To which my response was to immediately drive to work (I was close by) and force my friend Mike to stop cooking and come murder the little bastard for hitch hiking in my back window.
So those are only four of TONS of horrifying bee stories I have.
I also get this question a lot, why are you afraid of bees when you like spiders so much?
Well, one, spiders are cool and really interesting. And the ones you really have to worry about can only occupy the space on the walls and floor (most are not good at ceiling clinging). Bees fill up all the space between. It's volume vs. area dude. Simple logic.
But, being a nature enthusiast I tend to watch discovery channel. This has not helped my sanity or stress levels at all. I found out about Africanized Honey Bees. Yeah, you know the ones, they are like violent overprotective hormonal teenagers with pointy things on their asses and aren't afraid to use them. There happens to be billions of them because of some shit-head scientist that decided to mess with nature and made some fucking pissed off bees.
That swarmed on up to the US.
Great. Oh but the scariest kind of flying horror machine is the Japanese Giant Hornet.
 |
| Giant + |
 |
| Hornet = |
 |
| FUCKING TERRIFYING |
Cracked.com puts it rather nicely. "Nature is fucking hardcore."
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Avatar: The Last Airbender
A comparison:
So as you all know when Avatar (the TV show, not the movie about blue aliens) came out on nickelodeon, I became a quick fan and soon got my older brother Matt into it as well. Then at first when I heard that there was going to be a movie called Avatar I got excited. However it turned out to be about blue aliens which was kind of disappointing but that movie was pretty good, so I let it slide.
Well turns out they were making the cartoon into a movie. YAY!
How wrong I was to be excited.
VS
Okay, first things first. Let's talk about the original.
For those of you who don't know Avatar: The Last Airbender is a cartoon series about a boy who is the last of the 'Airbenders' and just so happens to be the 'Avatar.' Aka the one person relied upon by the whole world to keep the four nations at peace. Anyways, when Aang discovers this, he is upset about shouldering the responsibility, gets lost in a storm and basically hibernates for 100 years. When he wakes up, he is found by Katara, the last 'Waterbender' in the Southern Water Tribe, and her brother Sokka. The series begins here and follows Aang through his journey to accept his responsibility, learn to master the elements (which is what the Avatar can do, setting them apart), and save the world. Along the way he meets many people and goes on little adventures and is learning valuable life lessons all along the way.
So I loved this show. I was pretty obsessed, although I was quiet about it because not many other people watched it. It was cute and fun but could be serious and insightful a the same time. The artists and writers clearly put a lot of thought into the work and the end product was a fascinating rare gem for Nickelodeon these days.
The duration of the show was three seasons from 2005 to 2008. It was broken into four parts; Water, Earth, Fire, and Air. Each of the characters goes through some sort of personal growth. Well except some of the villains, like Azula, who just goes crazy... so I would have to say that is more of decay rather than growth...
Anyways. Yeah, Show=awesome.
Movie? Not so much.
Actually, not at all.
So here we are. Time to talk about the movie.
It was bad. Lets break this into two parts. First as an adaptation, then as a movie independently.
So as an adaptation we have to think about things such as role portrayal and casting. Casting is one of those things that you can't really control as a fan. That is, unless you are the casting director. Now don't get me wrong, I am sure that the actors aren't all that bad. Dev Patel, who plays Zuko, was also the lead in Slumdog Millionaire. That was a really good movie. Jackson Rathbone, who plays Sokka, is Jasper in The Twilight saga...
(I'm not even going to go into how much I dislike Twilight)
Right, so it can't be the actors who are making this movie bad, so what is it? The writing. Yeah, a person can only do so much with a big pile of shit. The IMDB review of this movie sates that:
"It'd be easy to take the script and scenes word-for-word from the source material and simply plug in actors to say the lines. Unfortunately, Shymalan's The Last Airbender fails at even the simplest of tasks such as this."
Good point. There was a point in the movie, that was probably supposed to be dramatic, but Matt and I literally just laughed. The lines are written so poorly that it seems a fifth-grader would have written a better script (and they might just have put a few of the lines from the cartoon in there).
Now, who is the writer, you may ask. None other than M. Night Shymalan himself. Oh, but guess what, he is the director too. So when you hear these stupid as fuck lines being delivered so poorly he's to blame for that too. I can just imagine Dev Patel delivering a perfect true-to-Zuko line and Shymalan coming back and telling him to change it. Oh this man.
M. Night Shymalan has brought us some great movies, but he is a little too obsessed with the twist ending. The Sixth Sense and Signs were legendary movies and pretty great. But he has put twist endings on like every movie he has made. It worked 2/11 times. That's 18%. Less than an F. An F-----! For Christ's sake! STOP IT!
He does this in The Last Airbender too. Since the movie only covers the first season, I fail to understand how introducing Azula as the new chaser of Aang and the gang, and as Zuko's sister as a surprise. Yeah, I already knew these things from seeing the show, but even if I hadn't... We see her a few times throughout the movie. By this time, with Shymalan's record, it's the most obvious thing ever.
Now, I have to touch on these few little nit-picky things because they just bothered me so much. Why is Katara so annoying? She is constantly whining to Aang about how much the world needs him. Blah blah blah. In the cartoon, she is this fiery strong young woman who is a major support pillar for our hero throughout (and the love interest). In the movie, she just appears. No really, she might as well be doing nothing but standing there for all the difference she makes.
Next, the begging of the movie goes by SUPER fast, as if someone were jsut giving a synopsis of the first 18 episodes and then it spends FOR-EV-ER on the last (two-part) season finale. And for how long they spend in the Northern Water Tribe, they miss almost all of the important details. It kind-of goes over the relationship between Sokka and Princess Yue. Oh, but they totally forget all about Katara's struggle to make the water-bending master accept her as a pupil (female integrity), the fact that Yue is betrothed (love triangle), and Sokka coming into his own as a military strategist.
Not only that, but they totally reverse Aang's struggle. In the TV series, his issue is that he can't control his emotions, so when he is pushed to the limit, he enters the Avatar Stage, something he can not yet deal with. However, in the movie, this wasn't acceptable, so they needed it to be the exact opposite. Aang is actually told to let his emotions run free and is portrayed as bottling them up. WTF.
Then, the most annoying thing of all in the entire movie. The way they pronounce things.
1. Aang is pronounced with a long a, as if you were saying 'ahhh.'
2. Sokka is pronounced with a short o, as if you were saying 'go.'
3. Ihro is pronounced with and e, as if you were saying 'city.'
Was it so hard to watch ONE FUCKING EPISODE and learn the correct way THE CREATORS wanted the names to be said?
Aang is with a long a sound, as in 'gorilla.' Sokka with a long o, as in fucking 'sock.' and Ihro is with a long i, and in 'I.' Then they pull this off. Near the end of the movie, when Commander Zaho is taking about the two swimming koi, who are the physical representations of the ocean and moon spirits, he says Yin and Yang with a long a. Yin and Yaaaaaaaaang. Seriously? I'm sorry but this movie was trying so hard to miss pronounce words that it even said yang wrong.
Okay
I think I will be okay now.
Hope you enjoyed my tirade.
So as you all know when Avatar (the TV show, not the movie about blue aliens) came out on nickelodeon, I became a quick fan and soon got my older brother Matt into it as well. Then at first when I heard that there was going to be a movie called Avatar I got excited. However it turned out to be about blue aliens which was kind of disappointing but that movie was pretty good, so I let it slide.
Well turns out they were making the cartoon into a movie. YAY!
How wrong I was to be excited.
 |
| The Cartoon |
 |
| The Movie |
VS
Okay, first things first. Let's talk about the original.
For those of you who don't know Avatar: The Last Airbender is a cartoon series about a boy who is the last of the 'Airbenders' and just so happens to be the 'Avatar.' Aka the one person relied upon by the whole world to keep the four nations at peace. Anyways, when Aang discovers this, he is upset about shouldering the responsibility, gets lost in a storm and basically hibernates for 100 years. When he wakes up, he is found by Katara, the last 'Waterbender' in the Southern Water Tribe, and her brother Sokka. The series begins here and follows Aang through his journey to accept his responsibility, learn to master the elements (which is what the Avatar can do, setting them apart), and save the world. Along the way he meets many people and goes on little adventures and is learning valuable life lessons all along the way.
So I loved this show. I was pretty obsessed, although I was quiet about it because not many other people watched it. It was cute and fun but could be serious and insightful a the same time. The artists and writers clearly put a lot of thought into the work and the end product was a fascinating rare gem for Nickelodeon these days.
The duration of the show was three seasons from 2005 to 2008. It was broken into four parts; Water, Earth, Fire, and Air. Each of the characters goes through some sort of personal growth. Well except some of the villains, like Azula, who just goes crazy... so I would have to say that is more of decay rather than growth...
Anyways. Yeah, Show=awesome.
Movie? Not so much.
Actually, not at all.
So here we are. Time to talk about the movie.
It was bad. Lets break this into two parts. First as an adaptation, then as a movie independently.
So as an adaptation we have to think about things such as role portrayal and casting. Casting is one of those things that you can't really control as a fan. That is, unless you are the casting director. Now don't get me wrong, I am sure that the actors aren't all that bad. Dev Patel, who plays Zuko, was also the lead in Slumdog Millionaire. That was a really good movie. Jackson Rathbone, who plays Sokka, is Jasper in The Twilight saga...
(I'm not even going to go into how much I dislike Twilight)
Right, so it can't be the actors who are making this movie bad, so what is it? The writing. Yeah, a person can only do so much with a big pile of shit. The IMDB review of this movie sates that:
"It'd be easy to take the script and scenes word-for-word from the source material and simply plug in actors to say the lines. Unfortunately, Shymalan's The Last Airbender fails at even the simplest of tasks such as this."
Good point. There was a point in the movie, that was probably supposed to be dramatic, but Matt and I literally just laughed. The lines are written so poorly that it seems a fifth-grader would have written a better script (and they might just have put a few of the lines from the cartoon in there).
Now, who is the writer, you may ask. None other than M. Night Shymalan himself. Oh, but guess what, he is the director too. So when you hear these stupid as fuck lines being delivered so poorly he's to blame for that too. I can just imagine Dev Patel delivering a perfect true-to-Zuko line and Shymalan coming back and telling him to change it. Oh this man.
M. Night Shymalan has brought us some great movies, but he is a little too obsessed with the twist ending. The Sixth Sense and Signs were legendary movies and pretty great. But he has put twist endings on like every movie he has made. It worked 2/11 times. That's 18%. Less than an F. An F-----! For Christ's sake! STOP IT!
He does this in The Last Airbender too. Since the movie only covers the first season, I fail to understand how introducing Azula as the new chaser of Aang and the gang, and as Zuko's sister as a surprise. Yeah, I already knew these things from seeing the show, but even if I hadn't... We see her a few times throughout the movie. By this time, with Shymalan's record, it's the most obvious thing ever.
Now, I have to touch on these few little nit-picky things because they just bothered me so much. Why is Katara so annoying? She is constantly whining to Aang about how much the world needs him. Blah blah blah. In the cartoon, she is this fiery strong young woman who is a major support pillar for our hero throughout (and the love interest). In the movie, she just appears. No really, she might as well be doing nothing but standing there for all the difference she makes.
Next, the begging of the movie goes by SUPER fast, as if someone were jsut giving a synopsis of the first 18 episodes and then it spends FOR-EV-ER on the last (two-part) season finale. And for how long they spend in the Northern Water Tribe, they miss almost all of the important details. It kind-of goes over the relationship between Sokka and Princess Yue. Oh, but they totally forget all about Katara's struggle to make the water-bending master accept her as a pupil (female integrity), the fact that Yue is betrothed (love triangle), and Sokka coming into his own as a military strategist.
Not only that, but they totally reverse Aang's struggle. In the TV series, his issue is that he can't control his emotions, so when he is pushed to the limit, he enters the Avatar Stage, something he can not yet deal with. However, in the movie, this wasn't acceptable, so they needed it to be the exact opposite. Aang is actually told to let his emotions run free and is portrayed as bottling them up. WTF.
Then, the most annoying thing of all in the entire movie. The way they pronounce things.
1. Aang is pronounced with a long a, as if you were saying 'ahhh.'
2. Sokka is pronounced with a short o, as if you were saying 'go.'
3. Ihro is pronounced with and e, as if you were saying 'city.'
Was it so hard to watch ONE FUCKING EPISODE and learn the correct way THE CREATORS wanted the names to be said?
Aang is with a long a sound, as in 'gorilla.' Sokka with a long o, as in fucking 'sock.' and Ihro is with a long i, and in 'I.' Then they pull this off. Near the end of the movie, when Commander Zaho is taking about the two swimming koi, who are the physical representations of the ocean and moon spirits, he says Yin and Yang with a long a. Yin and Yaaaaaaaaang. Seriously? I'm sorry but this movie was trying so hard to miss pronounce words that it even said yang wrong.
Okay
I think I will be okay now.
Hope you enjoyed my tirade.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I like these things
Hey! I'm going to do a fashion entry! Weird...
Okay so first off: Suspenders
Yeah, going to go ahead and say that they are pretty sweet. I like that I actually own a pair of these.
Item 2: Bomber Hat
Yeah, I am wearing one right now. Although it actually belongs to my niece, I will probably keep it until she makes me give it back.
Item 3: Old Man Sweaters
That is me in the middle with my brother's sweater on (I stole that too)
Then my friend Nessy is to my on the left and my roommate Natylee is on the right.
And the third: Sundresses
This one is fucking cute! Sundresses are actually my obsession. It took everything in my power to NOT spend hours looking for the coolest dress to put up. This one was on Google. But seriously. I love sundresses so much. If I could I would wear one everyday, but alas I live in the north and can't.
Now I'll go cry in a corner about it.
There was actually a day when I was walking across campus with a friend of mine and we both noticed this girl (my friend being male btw). He thought she was cute; I decided I would look better in the awesome dress she was wearing.
Okay well now I have lost interest in this and must go look at pretty dresses. Shut-up, I'm a girl okay?
Okay so first off: Suspenders
Item 2: Bomber Hat
Item 3: Old Man Sweaters
Then my friend Nessy is to my on the left and my roommate Natylee is on the right.
And the third: Sundresses
Now I'll go cry in a corner about it.
There was actually a day when I was walking across campus with a friend of mine and we both noticed this girl (my friend being male btw). He thought she was cute; I decided I would look better in the awesome dress she was wearing.
Okay well now I have lost interest in this and must go look at pretty dresses. Shut-up, I'm a girl okay?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
More College Inside Jokes
And more quotes for you to never understand.
"LOVE ME MORE!"
"Afternoon destroyed."
"Get some."
"You stabbed me in Greenland"
"Studying for finals is like chugging milk: it hurts going down but them you regurgitate it all over the place and you feel so much better."
"Ian, can I dip my potato in your sauce?"
"It's okay, I'll teach you how to do it with a spoon."
"Is your genital closet open?"
"I'd rather be shimmying down the wall naked than in bed on fire."
"Emergency loin-cloth."
"I'm not taking my clothes off... Not in that mood you're not."
"Have you ever bit up a wall?"
"LOVE ME MORE!"
"Afternoon destroyed."
"Get some."
"You stabbed me in Greenland"
"Studying for finals is like chugging milk: it hurts going down but them you regurgitate it all over the place and you feel so much better."
"Ian, can I dip my potato in your sauce?"
"It's okay, I'll teach you how to do it with a spoon."
"Is your genital closet open?"
"I'd rather be shimmying down the wall naked than in bed on fire."
"Emergency loin-cloth."
"I'm not taking my clothes off... Not in that mood you're not."
"Have you ever bit up a wall?"
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
How Many References to Annoyance and Death Can I Make?
It's the end of my very first quarter in big-scary college.
I'm glad I didn't die like link dies in the Zelda games...
I'm going to be that awesome totally one-of-a-kind blogger (ew) that sits and complains about how hard my finals were.
Except they really weren't.
German: taken the class before.
Math 114: Well this one sucked but I think I at least passed.
More stress than they are worth, yes. Let's consider the benefits though.
1. I will fully understand a language to the point that I will study there for an amount of time.
2. Math has given me new insight on my life. It's testing me. Is being a Bio teacher really worth it? Well if I can make it through the second evil boss at the bottom of this level's dungeon, also known as Chem 121, I think it will be.
If not, I am switching my major to english.
Which reminds me that a current frustration is that my AP English score was never sent electronically to my school so now I have to go dig through the mountains of paperwork at home and find my results to show to the people who would otherwise force me to take English 101. Which I will refer to as slow painful death.
After the credit from Eastern debacle, I am starting to mistrust electronic score reporting. Seriously.
Then there is the bully called the parking services here at Western. They give me a lot of grief... and a big hole in my wallet. I have already been wronged by them like three times, it's ridiculous! Some day I would like to march in there and give them a piece of my mind. However, I guess I will stick to being passive-aggressive about it.
So now is just the 8-ish hour drive to Spokane to look forward to tomorrow.
Fuck.
By the way, the answer is apparently only seven.
I'm glad I didn't die like link dies in the Zelda games...
I'm going to be that awesome totally one-of-a-kind blogger (ew) that sits and complains about how hard my finals were.
Except they really weren't.
German: taken the class before.
Math 114: Well this one sucked but I think I at least passed.
More stress than they are worth, yes. Let's consider the benefits though.
1. I will fully understand a language to the point that I will study there for an amount of time.
2. Math has given me new insight on my life. It's testing me. Is being a Bio teacher really worth it? Well if I can make it through the second evil boss at the bottom of this level's dungeon, also known as Chem 121, I think it will be.
If not, I am switching my major to english.
Which reminds me that a current frustration is that my AP English score was never sent electronically to my school so now I have to go dig through the mountains of paperwork at home and find my results to show to the people who would otherwise force me to take English 101. Which I will refer to as slow painful death.
After the credit from Eastern debacle, I am starting to mistrust electronic score reporting. Seriously.
Then there is the bully called the parking services here at Western. They give me a lot of grief... and a big hole in my wallet. I have already been wronged by them like three times, it's ridiculous! Some day I would like to march in there and give them a piece of my mind. However, I guess I will stick to being passive-aggressive about it.
So now is just the 8-ish hour drive to Spokane to look forward to tomorrow.
Fuck.
By the way, the answer is apparently only seven.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Dead Week
Shit.
Yeah, that seems to sum it up nicely huh?
So basically I am grumpy and stressed. I only have two finals too! Why!!
I think it is math, aka, the bane of my existence. Anyways, I took pre-calc again because I thought it would be easier and I could get a better grade this time through.
I was wrong.
I think part of the problem is that I become even more frustratingly forgetful when I am stressed and that is the basic definition of dead week.
So here I am, trying desperately not to freak out like I usually do and get all fatal about everything. It's more of a struggle than you would think.
Yeah, that seems to sum it up nicely huh?
So basically I am grumpy and stressed. I only have two finals too! Why!!
I think it is math, aka, the bane of my existence. Anyways, I took pre-calc again because I thought it would be easier and I could get a better grade this time through.
I was wrong.
I think part of the problem is that I become even more frustratingly forgetful when I am stressed and that is the basic definition of dead week.
So here I am, trying desperately not to freak out like I usually do and get all fatal about everything. It's more of a struggle than you would think.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Coconut Records= Fucking Awesome
You know what I love? Finding out something hilariously fantastic about something previously pretty awesome. For example, a week or so ago I was listening to Pandora (while doing homework or something) and it played a song by Coconut Records; West Coast.
Today it plays another, Microphone. I had previously written Coconut Records on one of my purple whiteboard bubble things, so my interest was sparked.
I Googled the band, turns out it's the solo project of one Jason Schwartzman.
Well he's one of the best actors I have ever seen. I usually see him in Wes Anderson films but he recently appeared in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (which is a great movie, by the way).
New obsession? Yes.
You can listen on Myspace.
Today it plays another, Microphone. I had previously written Coconut Records on one of my purple whiteboard bubble things, so my interest was sparked.
I Googled the band, turns out it's the solo project of one Jason Schwartzman.
Well he's one of the best actors I have ever seen. I usually see him in Wes Anderson films but he recently appeared in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (which is a great movie, by the way).
New obsession? Yes.
You can listen on Myspace.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Home Again
Upon my return to Spokane, I find myself questioning my life and the choices I have made so far.
What the hell home? Why do you make me ponder things?
Anyways I suddenly have a lot to think about and it makes me slightly dizzy... I wish I was kidding, it really does make me dizzy. Half of me wants to run back to Bellingham as fast as I can and the other half wishes I could stay. Forever.
Oh dear. What do I do.
Obviously I am going back to Bellingham, for school, you know.
I can't help but think though, what would my life look like if I had stayed?
What the hell home? Why do you make me ponder things?
Anyways I suddenly have a lot to think about and it makes me slightly dizzy... I wish I was kidding, it really does make me dizzy. Half of me wants to run back to Bellingham as fast as I can and the other half wishes I could stay. Forever.
Oh dear. What do I do.
Obviously I am going back to Bellingham, for school, you know.
I can't help but think though, what would my life look like if I had stayed?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving
So I think it is about time that I wrote a bit on this holiday. Usually I have looked at Thanksgiving as a break from school and a day to eat yummy food. Well, it is still like that but since I have moved off to college, I think I have gained a new perspective.
It really is about thanks.
Oh haha, duh!
Well seriously, I am really thankful. Here is a list of all the things I am greatful for (because I love lists):
1. I am greatful to be getting an education
2. I am greatful for a home to come home to
3. I am greatful for a loving family that is there for me no matter what
4. I am greatful for Lauren, Jordan, and Nathan who so eagerly came over to see me on the eve of my return
5. I am greatful for the friends I get to return to at Western. (Like my awesome roommate!)
Anyways, I am quite tired and have a turkey trot to sort-of attend in the morning... YAY MY OWN BED!
It really is about thanks.
Oh haha, duh!
Well seriously, I am really thankful. Here is a list of all the things I am greatful for (because I love lists):
1. I am greatful to be getting an education
2. I am greatful for a home to come home to
3. I am greatful for a loving family that is there for me no matter what
4. I am greatful for Lauren, Jordan, and Nathan who so eagerly came over to see me on the eve of my return
5. I am greatful for the friends I get to return to at Western. (Like my awesome roommate!)
Anyways, I am quite tired and have a turkey trot to sort-of attend in the morning... YAY MY OWN BED!
Monday, November 22, 2010
I Love Stumbling
The internet's gift to procrastinators: StumbleUpon.
In my humble opinion it is the best toolbar anyone could have ever asked for.
I've stumbled some of the greatest things I would have never heard about otherwise.
Forget Facebook.
Forget Twitter.
Forget Tumbler.
All you need to waste hours of your life (and I really mean hours) is this toolbar.
So how it works is you add the toolbar and create a free user. You take a little questionnaire and check the things that interest you, such as music or games or history. Save. Stumble.
Greatest stumble of the day, sent to me by my very best friend Lauren:
Online Bubble-Wrap
In my humble opinion it is the best toolbar anyone could have ever asked for.
I've stumbled some of the greatest things I would have never heard about otherwise.
Forget Facebook.
Forget Twitter.
Forget Tumbler.
All you need to waste hours of your life (and I really mean hours) is this toolbar.
So how it works is you add the toolbar and create a free user. You take a little questionnaire and check the things that interest you, such as music or games or history. Save. Stumble.
Greatest stumble of the day, sent to me by my very best friend Lauren:
Online Bubble-Wrap
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Big Socks and Track Spikes
College Quotes-Part One
That was easy.
Let's make this onesie a twosie.
It's because I'm foreign.
If that was an innuendo, you just told him to go fuck himself.
Why you all up in my shit?
I'm going to punch you with my forehead.
My Mascara runs faster than you.
If these shorts were any shorter, I'd need a hairnet.
Let me de-robe for this occasion.
Oh my God, they're so weird
-This coming from the girl carrying a wand and wearing a cape.
I'm communist for books and shit.
We should get this over with, cause you are in the crotch region.
Just let it happen for a second.
They just made a Battlestar Galactica reference, let me text my mother!
You stabbed me in Greenland!
That was easy.
Let's make this onesie a twosie.
It's because I'm foreign.
If that was an innuendo, you just told him to go fuck himself.
Why you all up in my shit?
I'm going to punch you with my forehead.
My Mascara runs faster than you.
If these shorts were any shorter, I'd need a hairnet.
Let me de-robe for this occasion.
Oh my God, they're so weird
-This coming from the girl carrying a wand and wearing a cape.
I'm communist for books and shit.
We should get this over with, cause you are in the crotch region.
Just let it happen for a second.
They just made a Battlestar Galactica reference, let me text my mother!
You stabbed me in Greenland!
Friday, September 3, 2010
I like songs with sounds in them
Werid:
I know Gravity Rides Everything by Modest Mouse so well that when I pause it, I can continue the song perfectly in my head no matter what part of the song I was at.
I know Gravity Rides Everything by Modest Mouse so well that when I pause it, I can continue the song perfectly in my head no matter what part of the song I was at.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I'm homless... kinda
See this is a frustrating issue. As of right now, I have no where to live this coming fall at western.
Okay sure, it was technically my fault but they could have warned me.
So I have been placed in a 'pending status' for my housing assignment, which basically means that I have no dorm room yet. I found this out and freaked so I emailed the lady who's name is at the bottom of the webpage:
Me: Why the fuck don't I get a room?
Her: You applied to the college late.
Me: What?
Her: Yeah, the kids who weren't indecisive lazy-asses got their assignments first because they clearly care more about going to Western. Have a nice day.
Me: ...
Actually that didn't happen, but it is essentialy what was said, only classier.
So to put it in plain english: I applied closer to the application deadline, I have to wait longer to get my housing. Untill September 15th. Which is 4 days before move-in. Fuck. Where was the paragraph explaining this?
It's an awesome school though, so I am still pumped to be going at all.
Okay sure, it was technically my fault but they could have warned me.
So I have been placed in a 'pending status' for my housing assignment, which basically means that I have no dorm room yet. I found this out and freaked so I emailed the lady who's name is at the bottom of the webpage:
Me: Why the fuck don't I get a room?
Her: You applied to the college late.
Me: What?
Her: Yeah, the kids who weren't indecisive lazy-asses got their assignments first because they clearly care more about going to Western. Have a nice day.
Me: ...
Actually that didn't happen, but it is essentialy what was said, only classier.
So to put it in plain english: I applied closer to the application deadline, I have to wait longer to get my housing. Untill September 15th. Which is 4 days before move-in. Fuck. Where was the paragraph explaining this?
It's an awesome school though, so I am still pumped to be going at all.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Science of Pop Music
Innocently stumbling this afternoon I came upon a video post on current.com, the website to what might be the last good network on TV (CurrentTv). It features an Australian comedy group, Axis of Awesome. These guys demonstrate that the most popular songs over the last 40 years have been based on the same four chords, just rearranged. Sure, it isn't all of them probably but the video shows quite a few and I can even name some for myself!
The link to the video is here.
This just proves my point. I am often asked why I don't like pop[ular] music and I have always come up with a pretty feeble answer:
"It's stupid"
"It's bad"
"It's unoriginal"
And while these songs aren't necessarily as bad as I find them, I finally know the right answer that will satisfy others:
"I've heard it before."
Which is totally true! I could take those four chords and write a song about love or fun and get something just as good as Katie Perry or Kelly Clarkson (yuck). Sure there's no way I can re-create something of Beatles or Journey caliber but the really good ones are a few in a whole lot more over the past 40 years. I think I've got a good chance on these terms. Better yet, I can just direct the questioners to this post, to the link and it will explain everything for me! I don't mean to be snarky about music but it sure feels good to be able to say 'I told you so.' And believe me, I will.
So if you don't mind, I am off to listen to music that uses more than four chords... I.E. GOOD music.
Oh and sometimes I DO mean to be snarky…
The link to the video is here.
This just proves my point. I am often asked why I don't like pop[ular] music and I have always come up with a pretty feeble answer:
"It's stupid"
"It's bad"
"It's unoriginal"
And while these songs aren't necessarily as bad as I find them, I finally know the right answer that will satisfy others:
"I've heard it before."
Which is totally true! I could take those four chords and write a song about love or fun and get something just as good as Katie Perry or Kelly Clarkson (yuck). Sure there's no way I can re-create something of Beatles or Journey caliber but the really good ones are a few in a whole lot more over the past 40 years. I think I've got a good chance on these terms. Better yet, I can just direct the questioners to this post, to the link and it will explain everything for me! I don't mean to be snarky about music but it sure feels good to be able to say 'I told you so.' And believe me, I will.
So if you don't mind, I am off to listen to music that uses more than four chords... I.E. GOOD music.
Oh and sometimes I DO mean to be snarky…
Sunday, May 30, 2010
The year in review.
It has recently come to my attention that I might not have discussed my behavior this past year very well. First of all I am going to say that I am sorry if I have behaved in a way that has hurt any of your feelings.
For starters I would like to go over the reasons for why I dropped several classes at semester. This year I have been battling with anxiety and depression, which largely account for my absences anytime before march. To be honest, taking all those classes was really starting to wear down on me because I just couldn’t keep up. Family issues plus my own deep rooted problems that were coming forth made keeping up nearly impossible and when I couldn’t I only felt worse about myself. So to make a long story short I was overwhelmed and needed to rethink my priorities. When I did I realized that for the goals I really wanted to achieve I already had met and exceeded all of the standards necessary. So I took advantage of my hard work and made some choices to better my health. I mean I already had enough credits to graduate last year and I am hella well-rounded. I often felt that I was letting you down because I felt as though you would view me as a slacker but I talked it over with my counselor and she agreed that it was better for me.
Next I would like to address the issue of lunch. I stopped coming because I felt like I was being shut out. I would go for the entire lunch period without anybody engaging me in conversation and I felt like every time I tried to talk to you that I was shut down. I sensed a general disinterest in anything I had to say or anything I was doing. So when this started factoring into how my entire day went, I left and started eating at home then eventually I started eating in the band room where I have spent lunch since because there was always somebody who would listen to me or include me in the conversation.
As soon as semester ended and I got my new schedule I started to feel better. I didn’t always feel like I was letting myself down and that others were constantly judging me. But I was still having a hard time living with my decision. I felt that things were hopeless and seriously considered giving up on any future I had once planned. If it weren’t for Lauren I don’t think I would have made it to March. She was there for me anytime I needed her, even if she had to drop other plans for me. She kept my mind off of what I looked at as failures and praised me for doing what was right for me rather than what was right for others. She talked me through rough patches and I seriously owe her my life.
Take what you may with this information but I swear to God if anybody tries to use it against me, there will be serious consequences. I am tired of being weak and feeling like I am looked down upon by my peers. I hope that clearing this up will ensure that I am no longer pushed around and walked on because I am not putting up with it anymore. It would have been nice if everyone had made more of an effort towards finding out for yourselves what was going on with me, but like I said before I felt like no one was taking an interest in me and I looked for help elsewhere. I feel so angry about this because it shouldn’t have happened at all. You could make the case that I wasn’t putting any effort forth but when you are in a serious depression it isn’t easy to talk to people because you are literally petrified to even be seen in public. I hope that none of you have ever been in that situation but please try to understand where I am coming from. I don’t hate you. I am not mad at you. I am frustrated that we are in this situation. I am frustrated that I put so much value into what other people though of me or the things I did. I have gained an odd gift through the darkest part of my life so far. I have learned that it is good to confide in friends but it is also important to be independent. I did most of my own healing. No person should have to pull themselves out of that dark of a place it’s impossible, and I couldn’t. I found my friend in Lauren and I thank God that I had her, because if I didn’t, I don’t know where I would be today.
I don’t blame any of you. I know that the only person responsible for this was me. I didn’t have to feel that way, but other factors that I am not going to share made it nearly impossible for me to be self-sufficient and it took a long time to recover. In fact I am still recovering and it is hard not to dwell on the things that sent me down in the first place. I’m not sorry that my behavior this year was less than favorable because I came out stronger in the end. So in a way I am glad that things have gone down this road, I have learned a lot about myself and my values. This explanation is what you get, and it is enough.
For starters I would like to go over the reasons for why I dropped several classes at semester. This year I have been battling with anxiety and depression, which largely account for my absences anytime before march. To be honest, taking all those classes was really starting to wear down on me because I just couldn’t keep up. Family issues plus my own deep rooted problems that were coming forth made keeping up nearly impossible and when I couldn’t I only felt worse about myself. So to make a long story short I was overwhelmed and needed to rethink my priorities. When I did I realized that for the goals I really wanted to achieve I already had met and exceeded all of the standards necessary. So I took advantage of my hard work and made some choices to better my health. I mean I already had enough credits to graduate last year and I am hella well-rounded. I often felt that I was letting you down because I felt as though you would view me as a slacker but I talked it over with my counselor and she agreed that it was better for me.
Next I would like to address the issue of lunch. I stopped coming because I felt like I was being shut out. I would go for the entire lunch period without anybody engaging me in conversation and I felt like every time I tried to talk to you that I was shut down. I sensed a general disinterest in anything I had to say or anything I was doing. So when this started factoring into how my entire day went, I left and started eating at home then eventually I started eating in the band room where I have spent lunch since because there was always somebody who would listen to me or include me in the conversation.
As soon as semester ended and I got my new schedule I started to feel better. I didn’t always feel like I was letting myself down and that others were constantly judging me. But I was still having a hard time living with my decision. I felt that things were hopeless and seriously considered giving up on any future I had once planned. If it weren’t for Lauren I don’t think I would have made it to March. She was there for me anytime I needed her, even if she had to drop other plans for me. She kept my mind off of what I looked at as failures and praised me for doing what was right for me rather than what was right for others. She talked me through rough patches and I seriously owe her my life.
Take what you may with this information but I swear to God if anybody tries to use it against me, there will be serious consequences. I am tired of being weak and feeling like I am looked down upon by my peers. I hope that clearing this up will ensure that I am no longer pushed around and walked on because I am not putting up with it anymore. It would have been nice if everyone had made more of an effort towards finding out for yourselves what was going on with me, but like I said before I felt like no one was taking an interest in me and I looked for help elsewhere. I feel so angry about this because it shouldn’t have happened at all. You could make the case that I wasn’t putting any effort forth but when you are in a serious depression it isn’t easy to talk to people because you are literally petrified to even be seen in public. I hope that none of you have ever been in that situation but please try to understand where I am coming from. I don’t hate you. I am not mad at you. I am frustrated that we are in this situation. I am frustrated that I put so much value into what other people though of me or the things I did. I have gained an odd gift through the darkest part of my life so far. I have learned that it is good to confide in friends but it is also important to be independent. I did most of my own healing. No person should have to pull themselves out of that dark of a place it’s impossible, and I couldn’t. I found my friend in Lauren and I thank God that I had her, because if I didn’t, I don’t know where I would be today.
I don’t blame any of you. I know that the only person responsible for this was me. I didn’t have to feel that way, but other factors that I am not going to share made it nearly impossible for me to be self-sufficient and it took a long time to recover. In fact I am still recovering and it is hard not to dwell on the things that sent me down in the first place. I’m not sorry that my behavior this year was less than favorable because I came out stronger in the end. So in a way I am glad that things have gone down this road, I have learned a lot about myself and my values. This explanation is what you get, and it is enough.
Monday, May 24, 2010
And people think my fears are irrational...
Every kid loves holidays. Presents, candy, good food.
Halloween- a shit-load of candy and a frickin’ sweet costume
Thanksgiving- food and that one parade they play on NBC
Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza- food and presents
New years- okay this one is kinda lame but stay with me
Valentines Day- more candy and those fuzzy feelings you get from your Scooby-Do Valentine card
St. Patrick's Day- corned beef and cabbage (well if you are me)
But then there is Easter
Fuck Easter, it's supposed to be about Jesus not a scary fucking monster bunny breaking into your house to steal, of all things, eggs. What the hell? How does that idea not scare the living shit out of you? Yeah, sure 'Santa' is a man who breaks in and leaves you cool toys. But the Easter Bunny does it to move some colorful eggs.
Halloween- a shit-load of candy and a frickin’ sweet costume
Thanksgiving- food and that one parade they play on NBC
Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza- food and presents
New years- okay this one is kinda lame but stay with me
Valentines Day- more candy and those fuzzy feelings you get from your Scooby-Do Valentine card
St. Patrick's Day- corned beef and cabbage (well if you are me)
But then there is Easter
Fuck Easter, it's supposed to be about Jesus not a scary fucking monster bunny breaking into your house to steal, of all things, eggs. What the hell? How does that idea not scare the living shit out of you? Yeah, sure 'Santa' is a man who breaks in and leaves you cool toys. But the Easter Bunny does it to move some colorful eggs.
If you are still not convinced, how about these photos that keep popping up around my web-ventures.
No. Not okay
What?
One kid's got it right
It gets worse...
...
and even more so...
I just don't even know
Haha just kidding, I couln't resist but still fucking creepy.
Oh dear god I will never sleep again.
It's legit. It's scary. It should be stopped.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I Can Communicate With Animals
Well it's true, I can. Some may think that talking to your animals makes you a spinster but they actually respond to me, so perhaps not.
Y'know or it means that I am bonkers.
Either way, it is still pretty cool, my animal-talking abilites.
For example, a few weeks ago I was driving a coffee up to work for my brother and a family of quail started to cross the street. Instead of running them down I slowed to a stop until all but one had crossed.
I looked at the little guy.
He looked at me.
I waved him across.
And he crossed.
It was basically amazing.
Then yesterday I witnessed two ducks crossing the road and the driver infront of me stopped for them. I know I have a friend in that person.
Later last night I also spoke with a stray cat and instead of running away, when I asked it to leave it got up and walked away.
So in conclusion, my superpower is the ability to communicate with animals.
Y'know or it means that I am bonkers.
Either way, it is still pretty cool, my animal-talking abilites.
For example, a few weeks ago I was driving a coffee up to work for my brother and a family of quail started to cross the street. Instead of running them down I slowed to a stop until all but one had crossed.
I looked at the little guy.
He looked at me.
I waved him across.
And he crossed.
It was basically amazing.
Then yesterday I witnessed two ducks crossing the road and the driver infront of me stopped for them. I know I have a friend in that person.
Later last night I also spoke with a stray cat and instead of running away, when I asked it to leave it got up and walked away.
So in conclusion, my superpower is the ability to communicate with animals.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Mortality is a funny thing.
Well that's kinda it, I guess. What else is there to say? To know that someday you're going to just not be here anymore is like I don't know, trying to imagine something that's impossible.
Makes you want to believe in heaven or reincarnation or something.
I can't imagine what I would do if I lost anybody I know. Well I can but you never really know you know?
It's like doing a virtual simulator; you can make up all the situations and reactions but never really know what to do when the real thing happens.
I don't want to think about that, but it seems like a lot of things in my life have caused me to lately.
uhg, not good. I just hope this isn’t some karmic sign, I really should make an effort to tell the people I love that I love them though... just in case.
damnit buffy.
Makes you want to believe in heaven or reincarnation or something.
I can't imagine what I would do if I lost anybody I know. Well I can but you never really know you know?
It's like doing a virtual simulator; you can make up all the situations and reactions but never really know what to do when the real thing happens.
I don't want to think about that, but it seems like a lot of things in my life have caused me to lately.
uhg, not good. I just hope this isn’t some karmic sign, I really should make an effort to tell the people I love that I love them though... just in case.
damnit buffy.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
This is about sex
I was looking up Harry Potter on DeviantArt (great site for artists, once you wade through all the cosplay and anime fanart...)
And after who knows how long I came across this:
"Weasley, if you have a rash there, go see Madam Pomphrey."
Rights to picture belong to Svenly, blah blah blah.
This is not about sex
You know what terrifies me more than anything?
College.
Yeah I am totally that pathetic little girl who's afraid to leave mommy. Oh but wait, no I'm not.
I'm a lot more fucking insane then your average 18-year-old.
How do I know this? I just do.
Here's a check-list
Hate to be disorganized, yet my room is in shambles? (check)
Stupidly in love with someone I'll never have a chance with? (check)
Blame self for other's wrong doing, or at least feel guilty about it? (check)
hate procrastinating and do it anyways? *COUGHCOUGH* right now *COUGHCOUGH*
(check)
Oh yeah, and there is the little matter of this being one of my stumbles... (check- plus what the fuck?)
That's not all the reasons but I also have an amazingly short attention span, so I am going to force myself to write some more. Maybe I'll finish the damn chapter and go to bed.
College.
Yeah I am totally that pathetic little girl who's afraid to leave mommy. Oh but wait, no I'm not.
I'm a lot more fucking insane then your average 18-year-old.
How do I know this? I just do.
Here's a check-list
Hate to be disorganized, yet my room is in shambles? (check)
Stupidly in love with someone I'll never have a chance with? (check)
Blame self for other's wrong doing, or at least feel guilty about it? (check)
hate procrastinating and do it anyways? *COUGHCOUGH* right now *COUGHCOUGH*
(check)
Oh yeah, and there is the little matter of this being one of my stumbles... (check- plus what the fuck?)
That's not all the reasons but I also have an amazingly short attention span, so I am going to force myself to write some more. Maybe I'll finish the damn chapter and go to bed.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Remember Me
This morning I awoke to a bit of a head cold that was barely noticeable around my burning throat. When my dear friend Lauren called I sadly had to back out of the plans that we made (like saving her from shopping...) and decided to laze around the house all day instead. I cleaned and read and ate. Oh, and I set up our brand new and BEAUTIFUL computer.
Then Matt asked if I wanted to see a movie called The Runaways with Kirsten Stewart and Dakota Fanning playing two of those lovely ladies. Well turns out it's a limited release, meaning little ole Spokompton won't show it unless it breaks the box office. Anyways, that's not the point, instead he pointed out a different movie. Remember Me.
Now, now. Hang on. Yeah Robert Pattinson (what's with the Twilight stars Emma?) is the lead and the previews make it out to be another cheesy romance drama where everything ends up all cheeky and fine in the end. But the reviews were intriguing---
So I figured, "Hey, why not? At least I will be able to back up my dislike of Robert Pattinson..."
I get off my butt, shower, get dressed. Y’know- I don't try too hard because, well, I'm just lazy.
Little did I know that I was in store for a life-changing movie. Sure the plot isn't too original, but the acting and cinematography more than make up for it. This isn't just an Indy type love story, like Garden State (which I actually really like). It's more than that.
The characters are like real people. The lines are delivered like normal conversation and you really fall for them.
But that's not it either. No
There are these details. Little, tiny things that you don't even think about until the end. And it is the end that changes everything. This movie does not end like any other I have ever seen.
You can't deny yourself that one thing that you wanted most, if only for the off chance that you won't make it through dinner to that yummy desert because of a meteorite. Or a bomb. Or a gunshot.
I only have one thing to say to one person- But that will have to wait.
Then Matt asked if I wanted to see a movie called The Runaways with Kirsten Stewart and Dakota Fanning playing two of those lovely ladies. Well turns out it's a limited release, meaning little ole Spokompton won't show it unless it breaks the box office. Anyways, that's not the point, instead he pointed out a different movie. Remember Me.
Now, now. Hang on. Yeah Robert Pattinson (what's with the Twilight stars Emma?) is the lead and the previews make it out to be another cheesy romance drama where everything ends up all cheeky and fine in the end. But the reviews were intriguing---
So I figured, "Hey, why not? At least I will be able to back up my dislike of Robert Pattinson..."
I get off my butt, shower, get dressed. Y’know- I don't try too hard because, well, I'm just lazy.
Little did I know that I was in store for a life-changing movie. Sure the plot isn't too original, but the acting and cinematography more than make up for it. This isn't just an Indy type love story, like Garden State (which I actually really like). It's more than that.
The characters are like real people. The lines are delivered like normal conversation and you really fall for them.
But that's not it either. No
There are these details. Little, tiny things that you don't even think about until the end. And it is the end that changes everything. This movie does not end like any other I have ever seen.
You can't deny yourself that one thing that you wanted most, if only for the off chance that you won't make it through dinner to that yummy desert because of a meteorite. Or a bomb. Or a gunshot.
I only have one thing to say to one person- But that will have to wait.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Stupid Holiday
So Valentine's Day (stupid holiday) is tomorrow.
And I want to be that girl who is cool enough not to care, but honestly I wish that certain someone would make it a special day for me.
Not in a flowers-and-candy sort of way. No but in a I-finally-realize-that-you-are-the-one-for-me-and-I'm-sorry-it-took-so-long-to-figure-that-out... sort of way.
Eh, what can I do. It won't happen.
In fact it will never happen because clearly that certain someone doesn't, never has, and never will feel the way I feel about him.
So here I am, being a grumpy love scorned teenager.
*Sigh*
Well all I need to do is sit and wait for one of three things to happen:
1. He loves me back
2. He doesn't and I can never have a long-lasting relationship because that poor guy will never be him
3. I meet the person I am am supposed to be with (and it's not him).
But whatever, I can still get my sad kicks out of the relationships around me.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Some images for your viewing pleasure
So I have been imagining these great scenic places where my story takes place.
Some of these include woods, deserts, oceans, and the northwest.
So to give a little more excitement to the project I thought I would find some pictures that fit what I imagine in my mind.
Some random forest
Sierra Nevada
Priest Lake
Well actually combine this and the first and you get the setting of my opening scene.
Some of these include woods, deserts, oceans, and the northwest.
So to give a little more excitement to the project I thought I would find some pictures that fit what I imagine in my mind.
Some random forest Sierra Nevada Priest LakeAND finally where it all begins
Well actually combine this and the first and you get the setting of my opening scene.The images aren't exact but they're pretty damn close.
I might just publish my first chapter if I ever get around to typing it.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
"Brothers On A Hotel Bed"
You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident
On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Those happen to be the lyrics to a very beautiful song called Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie. You can listen to it here.
For me, this is what I feel like a lot of the time.
Its about an escape, and I have been trying to escape for years. In some ways its to avoid pain and in other ways to reach new levels.
The only problem is I am the classic Pisces. I am always swimming against myself. So what is the solution?
Well, I have no idea.
However I do know the first step in the right direction: I have to own up to my fears.
This is difficult for one simple reason. I am afraid of damn near everything.
Change and stagnation,
The air and deep water,
Love and Loneliness.
To name a few.
Yeah. I'm like a walking, talking contradiction. But I am trying to be my own person. Try new things, let go of old things.
We'll see how that goes huh?
You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident
On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Those happen to be the lyrics to a very beautiful song called Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie. You can listen to it here.
For me, this is what I feel like a lot of the time.
Its about an escape, and I have been trying to escape for years. In some ways its to avoid pain and in other ways to reach new levels.
The only problem is I am the classic Pisces. I am always swimming against myself. So what is the solution?
Well, I have no idea.
However I do know the first step in the right direction: I have to own up to my fears.
This is difficult for one simple reason. I am afraid of damn near everything.
Change and stagnation,
The air and deep water,
Love and Loneliness.
To name a few.
Yeah. I'm like a walking, talking contradiction. But I am trying to be my own person. Try new things, let go of old things.
We'll see how that goes huh?
Yuck it up you evil forces that keep me up late.
Yeah, so our kitten is in heat.
Gross. I know.
But basically what used to be a quiet, albeit weird-ass, cat is now a rolling horny idiot. Since yesterday the damn thing has been crying and crying and rolling and crying.
This is a very unpleasant experience for me.
So tonight I am trying to get some sleep and right outside my door the cat is doing her stupid 'in heat' act.
Two hours later I get fed-up and decide to find out how long this torture will last.
Here is what I found:
Estrus: This is when the female cat is receptive to the male. External signs such as a swollen vulva or bloody discharge, are not as obvious in the cat as they are in the dog. The main signs seen are behavioral -- loud vocalizing, rolling on the floor, elevating the hindquarters and possibly a decrease in appetite. Many people have confused the signs of the feline estrus phase as signs of being in pain. Length: 3-14 days (average of one week). If the female is not mated, she may go back into heat within several days.
So in other words I have to suffer through this until she is done for the season or until my sister gets her damn cat fixed. WHICH the website also said this:
Cats may be spayed while in heat (or pregnant), but there is additional risk due to the engorged vessels and tissue of the reproductive tract -- a higher chance of bleeding during surgery or other complications. The cost of surgery while in heat or pregnant is often higher as well.
Moral of the story FML
Gross. I know.
But basically what used to be a quiet, albeit weird-ass, cat is now a rolling horny idiot. Since yesterday the damn thing has been crying and crying and rolling and crying.
This is a very unpleasant experience for me.
So tonight I am trying to get some sleep and right outside my door the cat is doing her stupid 'in heat' act.
Two hours later I get fed-up and decide to find out how long this torture will last.
Here is what I found:
Estrus: This is when the female cat is receptive to the male. External signs such as a swollen vulva or bloody discharge, are not as obvious in the cat as they are in the dog. The main signs seen are behavioral -- loud vocalizing, rolling on the floor, elevating the hindquarters and possibly a decrease in appetite. Many people have confused the signs of the feline estrus phase as signs of being in pain. Length: 3-14 days (average of one week). If the female is not mated, she may go back into heat within several days.
So in other words I have to suffer through this until she is done for the season or until my sister gets her damn cat fixed. WHICH the website also said this:
Cats may be spayed while in heat (or pregnant), but there is additional risk due to the engorged vessels and tissue of the reproductive tract -- a higher chance of bleeding during surgery or other complications. The cost of surgery while in heat or pregnant is often higher as well.
Moral of the story FML
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Nathan Everett
Dear Nathan,
You are my best friend. Every time I feel like I am alone in the world I know that you are there (even from Brazil) for me. I can't tell you how much you mean to me. Like literally can not.
But I'll try anyways.
Basically if someone murdered you I'd go on a rampage seeking revenge. Think Kill Bill kind of revenge.
Since 7th grade you've been making me laugh, angry(sometimes furious), happy, and sometimes sad. YOU brought me to our friend Carson, the Baby Giraffe. YOU encouraged me in so many aspects of my life. YOU supported me and held me to the ground. I know I can be flighty and indecisive but you have helped me to get my head out of the clouds when it is time for work.
I love playing Zelda while you play some weird internet game; not even talking to each other. Even when you get frustrated at my poor skills.
Your dad makes the best salad ever.Your mom's cooking rocks in general. and I have never eaten tastier deserts then those you make.
We've had our fun times and those serious best-friend talks. I thank God every day that he blessed me with such a wonderful person. If for some horrible reason we loose contact (we wont or I'll hurt you) I will look back on these last few years with you and only have things to smile about.
You still owe me a fricken high school dance since you've taken every other girl you've been friends with (jerk).
Honestly, writing this seems almost pointless. It's pointless because I think you know how much you mean to me. It's therapeutic to let it out and write it down... but that doesn't seem to be reason enough.
The things I wish you could understand.
Here is my promise to you:
I promise to always be your friend, to be there when you need me the most.
I promise to put up with your crap, and to enjoy the good moments.
I promise to never let you feel like you've let me down, and to always tell you when you make me proud.
I promise to never let you down, and to always make you proud.
I promise I will always be a part of your life.
Now I feel ultra corny for writing this. But hey, you're my best friend.
I love you.
~Emmers
P.S. I have no idea why I wrote it in letter format.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
A thank you to Ms. Lauren Miller
Lauren,
I can't even begin to accurately describe what you have done for me. If it weren't for that day I wore Matt's girlie cologne... I can't even fathom how different my life would be.
See You've done more then be my friend. More then a really great friend.
You have, in a sense, set me free.
Before I was so trapped in a world of hypocrites and fake people that I didn't have a chance to know who I really was. Since you have shown me what else the world has to offer besides school I've been so much happier.
To sum up our friedship:
Eating popcorn and watching movies.
Eating cake.
Eating in general.
Discussing Harry Potter and other books at length.
Magic. Dinosaurs. Music.
Jareth riding a uni-giraffe in a desert at sunset.
Making our kids get married.
Acting like idiots in public. (ahem... the condom incident)
You will be a part of my life forever, even if that means kidnapping you and holding you hostage in my basement.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Story Intro
So I am writing a story set in a post-apocalyptic Earth. I am really loving the idea and what I have so far is really good. But to be mean I am only going to post my intro.
Enjoy :)
Enjoy :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Food For Thought: Another Poem To Take A Look At -Two Actually
First, I know my title shouldn't have capitalized prepositions, but I don't care :)
Now, for what this is really about: A poem. The favorite of my good friend Lauren, in fact...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Cremation of Sam McGee
By Robert W. Service
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam ‘round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way that “he’d sooner live in hell.”
On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.
And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he, “I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you won’t refuse my last request.”
Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet ‘taint being dead—it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you’ll cremate my last remains.”
A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.
There wasn’t a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: “You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate those last remains.”
Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows—O God! how I loathed the thing.
And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.
Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the “Alice May.”
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry, “is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”
Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.
Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.
I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: “I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked;” . . . then the door I opened wide.
And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you’ll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm.”
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhh the macaber, yes?
But I desire to give you another, simply because I can. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A noiseless patient spider
by Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
Now, for what this is really about: A poem. The favorite of my good friend Lauren, in fact...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Cremation of Sam McGee
By Robert W. Service
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam ‘round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he’d often say in his homely way that “he’d sooner live in hell.”
On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn’t see;
It wasn’t much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.
And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he, “I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I’m asking that you won’t refuse my last request.”
Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
“It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet ‘taint being dead—it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you’ll cremate my last remains.”
A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.
There wasn’t a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: “You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate those last remains.”
Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows—O God! how I loathed the thing.
And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I’d often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.
Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the “Alice May.”
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry, “is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”
Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.
Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.
I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: “I’ll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked;” . . . then the door I opened wide.
And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: “Please close that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you’ll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm.”
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhh the macaber, yes?
But I desire to give you another, simply because I can. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A noiseless patient spider
by Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
100 books for men, for me?
So I stumbled upon a page called '100 Must Read Books: The Man's Essential Library.'
Why I was taken to a site clearly intended for male creatures, I don't know and don't want to be offended I gave it a 'thumbs up' anyways).
But as I looked through the list, I remembered that I had reached a predicament yesterday:
I have nothing to read.
Ahhh, so what is the point you may ask? Well hold your damn horses! *Cough*Impatient*Cough*
I have read a few of the books on this list but I didn't expect to come across Dante's The Divine Comedy, of which I was one of two people to read The Inferno for my summer English project.
(I think that makes me cool, by the way)
Well any how I need to make a list of books I want to read, but I am certainly not going to take the time to do that right now, maybe that will be my next post...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Complete Boredom.
I want to play The Legend of Zelda:Ocarina of Time.
Alas, my sister occupies the Tv and unless she falls asleep I can't play :(
Ah well, this would be okay if I had something else to do. Like paint or color or something creative damnit!
*Sigh*
You want to know what I hate though? Fricken Jabbu-Jabbu's stomach. This level shouldn't be the hardest in the game, but for some reason it is! No matter how many times I play the game, it takes me FOR-EV-ER to beat that level. I can never remember the right way to go even if I remember what to do in the rooms themselves.
UHHHG!
Oh and I also hate not having a book to read. It's unbearable.
I need to do something creative... I could start my sewing project, but that would mean going outside in the cold.
Efffff.
Hmm. Perhaps inspiration will strike...
Alas, my sister occupies the Tv and unless she falls asleep I can't play :(
Ah well, this would be okay if I had something else to do. Like paint or color or something creative damnit!
*Sigh*
You want to know what I hate though? Fricken Jabbu-Jabbu's stomach. This level shouldn't be the hardest in the game, but for some reason it is! No matter how many times I play the game, it takes me FOR-EV-ER to beat that level. I can never remember the right way to go even if I remember what to do in the rooms themselves.
UHHHG!
Oh and I also hate not having a book to read. It's unbearable.
I need to do something creative... I could start my sewing project, but that would mean going outside in the cold.
Efffff.
Hmm. Perhaps inspiration will strike...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Oh dear
I sent in my Freshmen Application to the University of Washington about 10 minutes ago.
Now I am scared shitless.
Yeah, I have heard it from my friends and my family and both of my councellors that I have nothing to worry about. Oh yes I do. How can I honestly stack up when the people I know who got in are fricken geniuses like Jessica, Hillary or Cam? Yeah, uh I can't.
I'm not looking forward to getting that damned letter saying 'sorry, but you suck. go to a trade school you idiot.' Worst of all, I have no idea when it is going to come, so untill that lovely bit of dissappointment graces my mailbox I get to freak out every time the mailman comes by.
Next for me is Western. I feel a bit more confident about getting in but I'm not entirely sure if I want to even go to a university next year. A Jr. College would be very helpful for my sanity but lets not forget that it would also be feeding that sick monster inside of me that devalues everything I do. Even though the normal side knows that this is an equally good path to go down That thing eats away at my expectations rubbing it in that I'm not good enough. Or something.
Uhhg. I annoy myself.
Now I am scared shitless.
Yeah, I have heard it from my friends and my family and both of my councellors that I have nothing to worry about. Oh yes I do. How can I honestly stack up when the people I know who got in are fricken geniuses like Jessica, Hillary or Cam? Yeah, uh I can't.
I'm not looking forward to getting that damned letter saying 'sorry, but you suck. go to a trade school you idiot.' Worst of all, I have no idea when it is going to come, so untill that lovely bit of dissappointment graces my mailbox I get to freak out every time the mailman comes by.
Next for me is Western. I feel a bit more confident about getting in but I'm not entirely sure if I want to even go to a university next year. A Jr. College would be very helpful for my sanity but lets not forget that it would also be feeding that sick monster inside of me that devalues everything I do. Even though the normal side knows that this is an equally good path to go down That thing eats away at my expectations rubbing it in that I'm not good enough. Or something.
Uhhg. I annoy myself.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Imagine you are sitting in a concert hall. The seats are uhpolstered with a fine, blood red with gold trimming everywhere. The hall bubbles out before you, the clouds reflecting the soft yellow light of the lamps. The stage lays before you with a gigantic, billowing curtain of the same elegent crimson as the seats. Murmers of voices can be heard as people are finding their chairs. Finally the lights fall, the curtain opens to an orchestra sitting paitenely. The concert master tunes them, sits and rises for the conductor. He lifts his arms. A soft piano is the first to be heard. you close your eyes, and this is what you see:
*pay special attention to the words in the bottom right corner*
let yourself feel. from Esteban Diácono on Vimeo.
Well, this is what I see. If a peice of music really moves me, I see colors dancing to the melodies, creshendos, and decreshendos. This is the first time I have known that others see that too...
Anyways if you think I am stupid for this then why are you even reading my blog?
Video courtesy of TheNextWeb.com
Copyright 2006-2010 © The Next Web (<--look, i cited you, please don't sue me :)
*pay special attention to the words in the bottom right corner*
let yourself feel. from Esteban Diácono on Vimeo.
Well, this is what I see. If a peice of music really moves me, I see colors dancing to the melodies, creshendos, and decreshendos. This is the first time I have known that others see that too...
Anyways if you think I am stupid for this then why are you even reading my blog?
Video courtesy of TheNextWeb.com
Copyright 2006-2010 © The Next Web (<--look, i cited you, please don't sue me :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Music is the the soul of the world.
I want to dance in the middle of a forest,
in the middle of the night under the fat leaves of summer.
I want the only light to come from the moon and the stars.
I want my heart to sing with a thousand melodies.
I want to feel safe in your arms,
as we step with the beat of the song within our hearts.
Turning,
Spinning,
Flowing,
Being.
I want to hear the harmony of the night-dwellers.
I want to sit by the soft whispering of a stream as I stare into the black expanse.
I want to feel my soul tumble and fall with the current tempo of the water.
I want to hear the sustained chords on the wind.
I want to drive down a deserted forest highway,
the trees blurring past, with only that moment.
in the middle of the night under the fat leaves of summer.
I want the only light to come from the moon and the stars.
I want my heart to sing with a thousand melodies.
I want to feel safe in your arms,
as we step with the beat of the song within our hearts.
Turning,
Spinning,
Flowing,
Being.
I want to hear the harmony of the night-dwellers.
I want to sit by the soft whispering of a stream as I stare into the black expanse.
I want to feel my soul tumble and fall with the current tempo of the water.
I want to hear the sustained chords on the wind.
I want to drive down a deserted forest highway,
the trees blurring past, with only that moment.
Friday, January 1, 2010
There is a difference...
This is something that purturbs me a bit more than it should, I admitt. However, it is pretty annoying when people think that Dumbledore and Gandalf are played by the same actor...
THEY ARE NOT.
Not saying that being played by the same person would be a bad thing, since both are pretty great in their own ways.
But it would be extremely difficult to have two huge fanasy roles to keep track of sooo I am providing proof that they are indeed, not the same person.
Gandalf
Other Roles of Note: The Golden Compass, Flushed Away, X-men
Dumbledore
Other Roles of Note: Fantastic Mr.Fox, The Life Aquatic
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