Stupid Holiday

So Valentine's Day (stupid holiday) is tomorrow.

And I want to be that girl who is cool enough not to care, but honestly I wish that certain someone would make it a special day for me.

Not in a flowers-and-candy sort of way. No but in a I-finally-realize-that-you-are-the-one-for-me-and-I'm-sorry-it-took-so-long-to-figure-that-out... sort of way.

Eh, what can I do.  It won't happen.

In fact it will never happen because clearly that certain someone doesn't, never has, and never will feel the way I feel about him.

So here I am, being a grumpy love scorned teenager.

*Sigh*

Well all I need to do is sit and wait for one of three things to happen:

1. He loves me back

2. He doesn't and I can never have a long-lasting relationship because that poor guy will never be him

3. I meet the person I am am supposed to be with (and it's not him).

But whatever, I can still get my sad kicks out of the relationships around me.

Some images for your viewing pleasure

So I have been imagining these great scenic places where my story takes place.
Some of these include woods, deserts, oceans, and the northwest.
So to give a little more excitement to the project I thought I would find some pictures that fit what I imagine in my mind.

 Some random forest

 Sierra Nevada

 Priest Lake

AND finally where it all begins

 Well actually combine this and the first and you get the setting of my opening scene.

The images aren't exact but they're pretty damn close.

I might just publish my first chapter if I ever get around to typing it.

With your arms outstretched trying to take flight

"Brothers On A Hotel Bed"

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed

Those happen to be the lyrics to a very beautiful song called Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie. You can listen to it here.

For me, this is what I feel like a lot of the time.
Its about an escape, and I have been trying to escape for years.  In some ways its to avoid pain and in other ways to reach new levels.

The only problem is I am the classic Pisces. I am always swimming against myself.  So what is the solution?
Well, I have no idea.

However I do know the first step in the right direction: I have to own up to my fears.

This is difficult for one simple reason. I am afraid of damn near everything.
Change and stagnation,
The air and deep water,
Love and Loneliness.
To name a few.

Yeah. I'm like a walking, talking contradiction.  But I am trying to be my own person. Try new things, let go of old things.

We'll see how that goes huh?

Yuck it up you evil forces that keep me up late.

Yeah, so our kitten is in heat.
Gross. I know.
But basically what used to be a quiet, albeit weird-ass, cat is now a rolling horny idiot. Since yesterday the damn thing has been crying and crying and rolling and crying.
This is a very unpleasant experience for me.
So tonight I am trying to get some sleep and right outside my door the cat is doing her stupid 'in heat' act.
Two hours later I get fed-up and decide to find out how long this torture will last.
 Here is what I found:
Estrus: This is when the female cat is receptive to the male. External signs such as a swollen vulva or bloody discharge, are not as obvious in the cat as they are in the dog. The main signs seen are behavioral -- loud vocalizing, rolling on the floor, elevating the hindquarters and possibly a decrease in appetite. Many people have confused the signs of the feline estrus phase as signs of being in pain. Length: 3-14 days (average of one week). If the female is not mated, she may go back into heat within several days.

So in other words I have to suffer through this until she is done for the season or until my sister gets her damn cat fixed. WHICH the website also said this:
Cats may be spayed while in heat (or pregnant), but there is additional risk due to the engorged vessels and tissue of the reproductive tract -- a higher chance of bleeding during surgery or other complications. The cost of surgery while in heat or pregnant is often higher as well.

Moral of the story FML