So I can sit there and paint a gorgeous scene on my stupid stubby fingernails so it looks something like this:
And I cackle with mad delight at my obvious artistic talent to rival that of Michelangelo because, hell, I'm just a genius...
Alright, that's a lie. My nails usually look more like this:
That drawing took me, like, twenty minutes. Whereas if I had one of those nice track pad things with the stylus pen I could have done a WAY better job (I drew a really cool tree with one once...). But that is pretty much the extent of my actual artistic talent. I even had to Google pictures of hands to get an idea... then I realized I have two I could have just as easily looked at. I frustrate myself.
Sometimes I am not the quickest of wit.
By the way, my nails really are green but without purple dots.
Right. So I spend all this time trying really hard to get them all nice and pretty, take time to let them dry and everything!
Only to have them get scratched all to hell like the BMW of a company executive whose wife has just found him in the grips of something that couldn't even make it into the Kama Sutra with his 20-years-younger-than-her secretary and this wife has some pretty vicious keys:
WRONG
I am a little OCD, I think, and the smallest imperfection on a thing that will be in my line of sight repeatedly for all my life (my hands) is ineffable. It is not allowed. Just... God... No.
So I usually take it off in the same day.
And I forget why I just don't bother painting them in the first place.
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