Stupid Holiday

So Valentine's Day (stupid holiday) is tomorrow.

And I want to be that girl who is cool enough not to care, but honestly I wish that certain someone would make it a special day for me.

Not in a flowers-and-candy sort of way. No but in a I-finally-realize-that-you-are-the-one-for-me-and-I'm-sorry-it-took-so-long-to-figure-that-out... sort of way.

Eh, what can I do.  It won't happen.

In fact it will never happen because clearly that certain someone doesn't, never has, and never will feel the way I feel about him.

So here I am, being a grumpy love scorned teenager.

*Sigh*

Well all I need to do is sit and wait for one of three things to happen:

1. He loves me back

2. He doesn't and I can never have a long-lasting relationship because that poor guy will never be him

3. I meet the person I am am supposed to be with (and it's not him).

But whatever, I can still get my sad kicks out of the relationships around me.

Some images for your viewing pleasure

So I have been imagining these great scenic places where my story takes place.
Some of these include woods, deserts, oceans, and the northwest.
So to give a little more excitement to the project I thought I would find some pictures that fit what I imagine in my mind.

 Some random forest

 Sierra Nevada

 Priest Lake

AND finally where it all begins

 Well actually combine this and the first and you get the setting of my opening scene.

The images aren't exact but they're pretty damn close.

I might just publish my first chapter if I ever get around to typing it.

With your arms outstretched trying to take flight

"Brothers On A Hotel Bed"

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.
And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men
Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed

Those happen to be the lyrics to a very beautiful song called Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie. You can listen to it here.

For me, this is what I feel like a lot of the time.
Its about an escape, and I have been trying to escape for years.  In some ways its to avoid pain and in other ways to reach new levels.

The only problem is I am the classic Pisces. I am always swimming against myself.  So what is the solution?
Well, I have no idea.

However I do know the first step in the right direction: I have to own up to my fears.

This is difficult for one simple reason. I am afraid of damn near everything.
Change and stagnation,
The air and deep water,
Love and Loneliness.
To name a few.

Yeah. I'm like a walking, talking contradiction.  But I am trying to be my own person. Try new things, let go of old things.

We'll see how that goes huh?

Yuck it up you evil forces that keep me up late.

Yeah, so our kitten is in heat.
Gross. I know.
But basically what used to be a quiet, albeit weird-ass, cat is now a rolling horny idiot. Since yesterday the damn thing has been crying and crying and rolling and crying.
This is a very unpleasant experience for me.
So tonight I am trying to get some sleep and right outside my door the cat is doing her stupid 'in heat' act.
Two hours later I get fed-up and decide to find out how long this torture will last.
 Here is what I found:
Estrus: This is when the female cat is receptive to the male. External signs such as a swollen vulva or bloody discharge, are not as obvious in the cat as they are in the dog. The main signs seen are behavioral -- loud vocalizing, rolling on the floor, elevating the hindquarters and possibly a decrease in appetite. Many people have confused the signs of the feline estrus phase as signs of being in pain. Length: 3-14 days (average of one week). If the female is not mated, she may go back into heat within several days.

So in other words I have to suffer through this until she is done for the season or until my sister gets her damn cat fixed. WHICH the website also said this:
Cats may be spayed while in heat (or pregnant), but there is additional risk due to the engorged vessels and tissue of the reproductive tract -- a higher chance of bleeding during surgery or other complications. The cost of surgery while in heat or pregnant is often higher as well.

Moral of the story FML

Nathan Everett

Dear Nathan,
You are my best friend. Every time I feel like I am alone in the world I know that you are there (even from Brazil) for me.  I can't tell you how much you mean to me.  Like literally can not.
But I'll try anyways.
Basically if someone murdered you I'd go on a rampage seeking revenge.  Think Kill Bill kind of revenge.
Since 7th grade you've been making me laugh, angry(sometimes furious), happy, and sometimes sad.  YOU brought me to our friend Carson, the Baby Giraffe. YOU encouraged me in so many aspects of my life. YOU supported me and held me to the ground.  I know I can be flighty and indecisive but you have helped me to get my head out of the clouds when it is time for work.

I love playing Zelda while you play some weird internet game; not even talking to each other. Even when you get frustrated at my poor skills.
Your dad makes the best salad ever.Your mom's cooking rocks in general. and I have never eaten tastier deserts then those you make.
We've had our fun times and those serious best-friend talks.  I thank God every day that he blessed me with such a wonderful person. If for some horrible reason we loose contact (we wont or I'll hurt you) I will look back on these last few years with you and only have things to smile about.
You still owe me a fricken high school dance since you've taken every other girl you've been friends with (jerk).
Honestly, writing this seems almost pointless.   It's pointless because I think you know how much you mean to me.  It's therapeutic to let it out and write it down... but that doesn't seem to be reason enough.
The things I wish you could understand.

Here is my promise to you:
I promise to always be your friend, to be there when you need me the most.
I promise to put up with your crap, and to enjoy the good moments.
I promise to never let you feel like you've let me down, and to always tell you when you make me proud.
I promise to never let you down, and to always make you proud.
I promise I will always be a part of your life.

Now I feel ultra corny for writing this. But hey, you're my best friend.
I love you.
~Emmers

P.S. I have no idea why I wrote it in letter format.

A thank you to Ms. Lauren Miller

Lauren,
I can't even begin to accurately describe what you have done for me.  If it weren't for that day I wore Matt's girlie cologne... I can't even fathom how different my life would be.
See You've done more then be my friend.  More then a really great friend.
You have, in a sense, set me free.
Before I was so trapped in a world of hypocrites and fake people that I didn't have a chance to know who I really was.  Since you have shown me what else the world has to offer besides school I've been so much happier.
To sum up our friedship:
Eating popcorn and watching movies.
Eating cake.
Eating in general.
Discussing Harry Potter and other books at length.
Magic. Dinosaurs. Music.
Jareth riding a uni-giraffe in a desert at sunset.
Making our kids get married.
Acting like idiots in public. (ahem... the condom incident)

You will be a part of my life forever, even if that means kidnapping you and holding you hostage in my basement.

Story Intro

So I am writing a story set in a post-apocalyptic Earth.  I am really loving the idea and what I have so far is really good.  But to be mean I am only going to post my intro.
Enjoy :)